Visualeyes 4

I've just about hit the "point of no return."  Today I received in the mail 3 copies of a letter from my eye doc that clearly states I am classified as "legally blind." There's no denying it now. There's no way to stretch the driving time longer. The path is clear. Today, my heart feels heavy. [Oh come on, snap out of it, Gail!!!]  Bus riding and sitting in the passenger seat is my destiny :-)

I do feel like I'm starting to move forward in this grieving/healing process. I've resigned myself to getting rid of the car. For those of you who have read my previous posts, I discussed the situation with my sister and we agreed that selling the car would work best for me and allow me to move on sooner to the new normal. As of Saturday, Dec.12th (?) I will be officially carless, A dear friend is buying the car so I know it will have a "good home," plus I can reconnect when I go to visit them.

The real work begins on Sunday the 13th. Buses will be fine during the week because they run frequently. The bigger issue will be weekends when routes tend to be once per hour and some become nonexistent. I think that will be the time to ask friends for rides or perhaps use taxis. I still need to work on feeling comfortable asking people for help. I'm a bit tentative on that since I've usually been the one doing the helping.  It's a slippery slope trying to maintain independence and feel self-reliant while knowing you are dependent on others, at least occasionally fortransportation.

Last night I heard a wonderful author, Bruce Feiler, speak. He concluded his book talk by sharing his recent difficulties with cancer of the leg (believed to have resulted from a fall as a child). Despite the invasive surgery, the 2 rounds of chemo, and the struggles in rehabbing, his attitude is positive and hopeful. He stated that he believed it was important to have a sense of community around you during difficult or tragic times. I so agree! My journey of facing the challenges of losing sight  would be unbearable without the support of family and friends. And believe it or not, having readers of this blog helps too. By writing about the tough moments, the triumphant moments, the contemplative moments, it leaves me feeling that someone might relate to them or have an "Aha moment" from something I've said and I could prevent a moment of sadness, or doubt, or worry for someone else. That's part of community as well. Helping each other out. Knowing that when we are weak, there's someone else around to be strong for us and provide support. I'll keep writing and I hope you'll keep reading. Your support means everything!